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Dana

Sensitivity

Heaven on Earth

By Dana of Empath Rising, who sheds light on all things Empath. Follow her on Instagram: @empaths_and_hsp.

I cannot even begin to tell you how often I hear newly discovered Empaths say, “it’s a blessing and a curse.” Admittedly, this makes me just as sad as it does to see a wounded puppy, someone in a destructive relationship, any human being not fully embracing and loving their self. This quote has become almost like something you “just say” if you are an Empath and it’s inaccurate… and actually, it’s very low vibing and inadvertently draws negativity just by expressing it.

Yes, I can most certainly empathize with feeling overwhelmed by all of the emotions and negative vibrations of others, I get that. But what I will not allow is for others to discuss being an Empath (with me) as a “curse.” I mean, what is a curse really? This implies that the Universe is intentionally creating humans to inflict pain and suffering upon them. Is that what an Empath is? Someone that is cursed… Born only to feel the pain and suffering of others as a punishment of sorts? Well, no wonder so many of us are addicts, suicidal, manic depressives… I mean who wants to be born cursed? And what if you just found OUT you are an Empath. Well certainly looking up what an Empath is an seeing them depicted as the “cursed” human beings of the world does not create a sense of relief – and in fact, likely makes others feel even worse about what they are.

Perhaps this article comes out a little passionate –  and so it is.  I’m unapologetically stating that Empaths are NOT CURSED! What an amazing gift we have when we understand the truth of what we are and why. All things considered, does it suck to feel the agony of our fellow sentient Earth beings? Yeah, some days it does. But you wanna know what really makes me feel sick at the end of the day? All those people walking around completely ignorant and totally non-responsive to the pain and suffering that is happening every day on Earth – without remorse, without sorrow, without compassion, without Empathy. Truly. I feel bad for THOSE people. My heart bleeds even more for the Struggler Sensitives, the ones that do feel and feel intensely but because of all of the ignorant and apathetic humans – feel an overwhelming amount of harbored shame and guilt for just feeling the ACTUAL physical pain and suffering inflicted upon them by others.

We all know that I am someone who advocates Self Awareness. That I feel it’s so important for everyone to be aware of their self and to ensure that no one is forcing them to think outside what resonates with their own soul.  I can honestly say that this article is an opposing perspective. It’s the one time where I will say, as much as being an Empath is about “you” – it actually has nothing to do with you at all.  Perhaps this article comes across so strongly because a part of whatever it is that I really am, is to realign others with their Highest Self. And in truth, believing that you are “cursed” by feeling, is just a really easy excuse to allow your Ego to get involved and make you feel resentment towards what you are. And that’s just not something I am willing to give the Empath Community an opportunity to cultivate. Being an Empath is what you are – but the “what” isn’t about the “why”.  What I mean is, what you are, an Empath, is not about being an Empath. It’s about WHY you are an Empath.

Being an Empath is a blessing, absolutely not a curse. This morning I got a message where that song, “Heaven on Earth” came through to me randomly right before I got to work. As I walked into work I felt an overwhelming amount of emotions and inner chaos and looked over at my coworker and muttered those words, “are you ok?”  Tears poured out of her as she told me her father (who she was estranged from) had passed away. Now, as an Empath you’re probably actually visualizing the situation and getting overwhelmed. But what you are feeling isn’t a curse – it’s private information, deep seeded secrets of someone else’s inner state of being… It’s access to someone else’s Soul. And you know what, how can you feel that is a curse and not an HONOR?

Here’s how this all comes together.   could have gone downhill and allowed the emotions I felt (that were not mine) debilitate me… Or I can do the “Why” part of “what” I am.  As an Empath, I feel I have a certain sense of responsibility to guide others through alexythemia (inability to comprehend and/or articulate their emotional state).  As most others would have responded to someone that just endured a loss “I’m sorry for your loss,” I did not.  I did not feel that from her – I felt shame, guilt, regret, confusion.  Instead of suggesting this woman should feel sorry for the death of her father I suggested the opposite.  “I know this is a hard situation for you – and I want you to prepare yourself that a lot of shit is going to surface and you need to allow it to.  You are going to feel a lot but what you need to understand is that now is NOT the time to be doubting the decisions you made over the past 25 years in not trying to have a relationship with a man that abandoned his daughter.”  Now she can come to whatever conclusions she wants to about her emotions – but what being an Empath is about, it’s not about my ability to FEEL what others do, it’s not about me at all. It’s about what I am DOING with everything I am feeling and being able to help someone understand, and to feel that their emotions are valid, which is SO POWERFUL.

It’s not a freaking curse. It’s an ability to offer a glimpse of Heaven on Earth when someone is going through a personal hell… It’s the ability to offer someone HOPE.  That’s WHY we are what we are. It’s to remind others there are Angels walking on Earth shining light through the dark aspects of being human, letting them know that even in those loneliest of moments, they are not alone.

Sensitivity

Empaths be like…

In a  weekly feature, Dana of  Empath Rising will be sharing her views as well as practical tips on understanding and managing your sensitivity as an Empath.

Of all the things I write about in regard to Empaths, here’s what stands out most to me: the funny, ridiculous yet laughable one liners that shed light on the burdens of being an Empath always receive the highest amount of resonance.

So what did I learn, and why am I telling you this?

It is because I want you all to remember what we are here for! We aren’t here to feel plagued by the burdens of dealing with the overbearing emotional state of negativity others are in. We aren’t here to traumatize ourselves by empathizing with others’ traumas, or to kill ourselves in an endless effort to save the rest.

We are here to show the world exactly how empowering it is, having the ability to feel the turmoil within one’s self, how liberating it is to release the chaos from within, how nothing really is what it seems, and perhaps the way to change is by doing something we’d never imagined!

Here’s the irony of Empaths. We feel everything everyone else does – we understand the way others think and that’s ironic because Empaths think in an opposing way that the majority do. We essentially think “backwards” and are here to aid in the shifting of the thought process for emotional behaviorisms.

We can see how others act and we do not understand it and it leaves us unsettled rather often because we can’t imagine what it’s like to NOT feel all the emotions.

But ask a Sensitive to rid them of ‘all the feels’ and they would pause for a long time before answering… Come to think of it, I don’t know anyone that would trade the burden because with it comes the beauty.  See, we understand the Beauty is in the Struggle.

Beauty & Humour in the Struggle

So when I make a comment like, “Empaths be like… how am I supposed to get my shit together when I absorb all the problems of people that can’t get their shit together…” and there is a light shed upon our burdensome traits…

There is also a sense of appreciation for the fact that we can ACKNOWLEDGE that we feel the chaos of others along with our own inner chaos… We laugh because we know that we can indeed feel, and feel intensely – and that as much as it can be debilitating, it also brings a sense of “Empathic Badass” to the table. We know we are special and – if we take our feels away, what are we? We’d just be like everyone else, struggling without understanding WHY we are struggling.

It didn’t dawn on me until I realized how quickly the laughter came from making light of what we are instead of focusing on how it is ever so trying on our psyche.  So once again I was like, “Duh!!” And I realized a new way to offer some Empath Guidance and here it is.

When you are struggling as an Empath ask yourself this…

Would I give up the beautiful that I can see to not experience the “emotional state” so intensely?

Do I appreciate how much of a beautiful mess I am in moments that I can feel more intensely than others?

Would I rather be struggling emotionally and not know why – or have a sense of powerful self-awareness that allows me the opportunity to help myself and most importantly, to help others?

And most importantly, and I want you to process this for a little while….

Do I really feel that burdened by my empathic intelligence – or… does the mere fact that society still won’t recognize the courage, power and evolutionary requirement of being someone unafraid to be unapologetic in their feels? Am I really burdened by all of this or am I in love with the FREEDOM and EMPOWERMENT that comes from being gracefully imperfect, honored with deeper understanding and designed with a passion for humanity?

Instead of having those ridiculously funny “Empaths be like…” moments, would you really rather have “Normal people that can’t feel and do not have the desire to understand the deeper meaning of life be like…”?

Sensitivity

Empaths in Romantic Relationships Part 3 – Dana & Valery

How is it like for two empaths to be in a romantic relationship? I’ve often wondered about it. My guess is that it’s either incredibly explosive and intense and the world just won’t be able to handle it or it’s just pure telepathic, mind-reading bliss all the time…. The truth is probably somewhere in the middle. Dana and Valery gives us some real insight into how it’s like. – xx, K


What do you feel is the difference between dating another empath vs non-sensitive?

Valery: The difference lies in the depth of understanding and perspective. A non-sensitive will have the same feelings, needs, wants, pleasures and desires as in human behaviors and characteristics. An empath will have a higher and deeper level of consciousness awareness. They see the world in a 360 perspective. For example, they love and feel all of the sentient life on the planet. They have respect for all of life and the Earth in which we live and play on. With an expansive awareness, they are more in tune with everything around them. In conclusion, the connectedness is on many levels.

Dana: As an Empath, dating another Sensitive is necessary. Not to say that for others it couldn’t work – but for me, I just have to be with someone that can “feel” me and understand without having to over-analyze the fuck out of me.  I’m complex, profoundly lost in my emotional depth, and the work I do with others, it has to be respected. Only another Empath can really understand how important to me what I do for other Empaths because they understand the struggle of being an Empath themselves.  And actually, I do not need someone to understand me – I need someone who understands that they will never understand me and that in and of itself is beautiful.  That’s just something that is fiercely difficult to get a non-sensitive to comprehend.

“The journey has us evolving into the best versions of ourselves.”

What do you appreciate most about being in a relationship with another empath – and how has it been beneficial?

Valery:  I appreciate the unconditional love, compassion and understanding that we have for one another and the world around us. We are always evolving together, helping by nurturing each other when one is going through a struggle. I appreciate the many commonalities that we have towards life as a whole.  Being with another Empath has led me to dive deeper into my true essence of self, constantly bettering both myself and the relationship. The journey has us evolving  into the best versions of ourselves.

Dana:  The depth of the connection we share on all levels, especially in our communication. It’s been so so so so hard for me to find someone that understands the amount of time I like to spend “away” from others – and also helping others.  I’ve certainly had a decent amount of relationships where the other person was not secure enough with their self and got whacked out when I would focus so much of my own time rebalancing and on others. Being with another Empath, he understands not only who I am but the proactive self care steps I have to take in consideration of “what” I am.  Though it seems like I am able to just blab on about anything rather freely – like most all other Empaths, I get lost in my own emotions sometimes and being with another Empath, he helps me by balancing me – sometimes that means not speaking at all and just providing a nice secure and safe hug, while I bawl my eyes out after working with someone that finally released an emotional or physical traumatic experience.

Does this make the relationship more challenging – do you feel like you have no privacy?

Valery:  No. Actually makes it better by having to strip yourself down of all walls, so that the true self comes out. Trying to hide or conceal anything in this relationship will not work. Any feeling of discomfort or struggle is noticed immediately and the best way to cure this is with communication and honesty. In doing so we stand in honor and integrity within our self and hold each one accountable to remain in alignment.  The most challenging part is working on yourself everyday in balancing, shifting and expanding. It is a constant evolution of the human self for the betterment of us as life partners.

Dana: I’m a pretty hard nut to crack when it comes to understanding my emotions. Working with others all the time that are struggling – believe it or not it’s really important that I remain “indifferent” when others are sharing and releasing their traumas with me, e.g. I have to be very careful not to validate others’ self shame by gasping when I hear the horrors of their past.  I am self aware enough to be able to process and be compassionate towards others’ emotional state of being, yet remain emotionally detached enough so that it does not affect me in the moment.

I have had to learn NOT to do this in our relationship. If I want him to be open and honest about his emotional state of being, I have to put my own walls down and show a much more emotionally expressive vulnerable side.  As an Empath that helps other Empaths, if I am being honest with myself I can admit that I have become very, very well adept at being indifferent and this works great for helping others discover their self – but it doesn’t work great in a romantic relationship.  So, Valery has seen a side of crazy that I have never wanted to show anyone previously – but as an Empath himself, he also understands how to remain indifferent when necessary and that insight he has into me that comes in through intuition and Clairsenses is actually beneficial to our endless evolution as human beings and as life partners.  Not having any privacy forces you to be truthful with yourself all the time.  It’s actually a very liberating way to live – completely FREE.

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Sensitivity

Empaths in Romantic Relationships Part 2

In a  weekly feature, Dana of  Empath Rising will be sharing her views as well as practical tips on understanding and managing your sensitivity as an Empath.

Last week, I discussed how it’s only when an Empath falls in love with one’s SELF, will we be able to truly thrive in healthy relationships – considering what we are and the “fixer” role we easily fall into. In this post, I will cover some Practical Empath Relationship tips as well as my own experience in being in a relationship with another Evolving Empath. Here goes!

SOS! Forget Red Flags, if you see these behaviors, RUN!

I say this because – though this is a bold statement – as someone that spends a lot of time helping others to set healthy boundaries, these behaviors ALWAYS come into play in an unbalanced Empath who still needs to spend some time healing their self and coming to grips with the fact that they just can’t save everyone!  I highly suggest that if someone you are interested in starts showing behaviors like these (if your intuition isn’t already begging you to run), that you just walk away.  This doesn’t make you a bad person – this makes you an aware Empath that understands you are drawn to others that need Soul Healing.  Oh, and just so I don’t come off as a flaming b*, I am not suggesting that these humans are not worth helping, I am suggesting they are not ready to be in a stable and long lasting relationship with an endless giver (that’d be you) – because they are never going to be satisfied with what you have to offer – because they are void in the self-love area of their own heart.

“You” Statements:

If you are with someone who boldly tells you who you are, how you are thinking, what you are feeling… Then YOU need to move along.  You statements are projections – which are the insecurities someone “projects” onto another to make them feel bad for the behaviors they are probably exhibiting themselves!  Basically anytime someone states a “You” statement, the truth of what they are saying can be found by changing the “You” to “I”.  Here are a few examples:

You Statement: “YOU are so sensitive – just lighten up.”
Truth:  “I am really sensitive and need to lighten up.”

You Statement: “YOU are acting so jealous – stop being so insecure.”
Truth:  “I am really insecure and get really jealous of you with other people.  I’m probably acting really inappropriate with others and know that if I act this way, I am afraid you are also.”

You Statement: “YOU are always acting so distrusting – there’s nothing for me to hide.”
Truth:  “I have major trust issues, likely because I do a lot of shady shit and should not be trusted, so I am always suspicious of others’ intentions.”

Addictive Behaviors:

If the person you are considering being with has an addiction in ANY way that they do not have control over, then you are walking into trouble.  Remember, it’s not your job to fix or save them and yes, sometimes you need to let people destroy themselves.  It’s not within your rights to force another human being to make the necessary changes they need in their own life.  Yes, it’s sad – but in situations like this, one must become what I like to call the “compassionate asshole”.   That’s when you feel for the human, what they are struggling with and what they have to endure to change – but it’s also just not your problem so, there’s that.

Needy B*s:

Yup, I cannot think of any other way to state this.  If you are considering being with someone who FLOODS your texts, phone calls, social media, etc with over-affectionate, possessive messages and pays like, way too much attention to you – although this might seem adorable in the moment, it gets old REALLY quick.  What starts out as “Love Bombing” in the beginning always turns into over-neediness and the expectation that you will (in return for their extreme initial efforts of flattering) be available to cater to the never ending needs of attention, affirmation and ego flattering.  I am not going to go into details of the severe energetic consequence of being with a low vibing being like this – but if you are curious, do some research on energy vampires.

Healthy Boundaries in Relationships

Here are a few healthy boundaries you should consider implementing for your romantic relationships.  This applies whether you have been married for 20 years or are just getting into a new one.  Keep in mind, having healthy boundaries does not make you stuck up or difficult and anyone that doesn’t respect your boundaries, guess what – well that just in and of itself crosses a boundary and they have to go!

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Sensitivity

Empaths in Romantic Relationships

In a  weekly feature, Dana of  Empath Rising will be sharing her views as well as practical tips on understanding and managing your sensitivity as an Empath.

It’s amazing to consider that even the most emotionally intelligent human being (that’s us!) could also have the most difficulty in forming and maintaining healthy relationships. This Empath Truth can be one that is very hard for us to digest and can often inadvertently validate our low self esteem and the “I’m not normal” complex.

I do believe this struggle is the hardest to overcome when attempting to understand ourselves as Sensitives.  After all, how can such loving and selfless creatures (at our best) be so unlovable, so incapable of bonding with another when we feel so connected to all creatures of Earth?  If we hone in on the truth, it is often hard to digest, but as with every other struggle, this one is also about Self Awareness through Self Discovery.

Unhealed Empaths tend to fall into the Rescuer or Fixer Roles

As Empaths, whether we are aware or not, we focus on “helping” others and before this comes into awareness, we actually focus on “fixing” others. We have this tendency to gravitate towards emotionally unavailable humans – and we expend ourselves trying to make them happy. As empaths in romantic relationships, we seek to satisfy our own self worth by believing that if we act “appropriately” enough (by doing whatever the partner wants), that they will eventually love us as some kind of reward for having loved them through their own self hatred.  I could go into all the details why but the short of it is – THIS. NEVER. WORKS.  And all we wind up doing is creating an inner sense of worthlessness.

In almost every article you read on Empaths, “Codependency” is in there somewhere.  Why is this?  Well, it’s because as Empaths, we feel what those around us feel.  Until we are older and wiser, we don’t realize most of what we feel is not our own.  Codependency occurs in any relationship where one person is devoid of ‘Inner Love.”  The Empath senses this lack and seeks to fill this inner void within their partner and while doing so, spends so much time absorbing and mirroring back their emotional state of being that they too, begin to become devoid of “Inner Love” and believe it is their fault for the demise of the relationship; they believe it is their own inability to BE loved that is why all their relationships fail.

See here is the difference between Empaths and others.  Empaths ALWAYS self-reflect.  They always look to their selves as the blame – the one who could have tried harder, acted differently, should have known better, etc.  It’s a sad, sad and harsh reality but – this is why most people that are in abusive relationships always return to their abusive partners.  Most of them are Empaths that believe they should be working HARDER to fix their partner, even when the partner is never taking any responsibility for the emotional unavailability they bring into the relationship.  In fact, the other partner is usually projecting their emotional unavailability onto the Empath and validating the Empath’s feelings of “blame” and “unlovable-ness.”  (Yup, I made up my own word just there!)

Know thyself, Love thyself – Then Share the Love

So – how is any of what I am writing helpful? Well, it’s really not.  Truth is that, until one is READY to understand that life as an Empath is not about Loving OTHERS – but about falling in love with their SELF and then sharing that love with others who can appreciate it, evolve from it, become the best version of their self by being accepting of it… it doesn’t really matter what I write.  Empaths have this stubbornness (backed by profound resilience) about them where they are insistent on proving their self worth by proving their love is the most powerful of all – so they take on this low viber in an attempt to prove the power of their Love to their Self through validation from another outside of their self.  And that’s ok because that is part of our path – coming to our own realization that we have to Love and Honor and Respect ourselves FIRST – and only then can we be of any value to our selves, our purpose, to humanity, to another human being.

All I am simply trying to do in this article is to perhaps give you a few things to consider before giving up on love or before settling for someone that is just going to bring you down to their level of vibration (we vibe very very high for those who aren’t aware).  As I said, Self Awareness within Self Discovery is critical for Empaths and being aware of they types of relationships you have had in the past, the patterns of behaviors in others you seem to be drawn to, the pattern of behaviors that you fall into in relationships, and the way relationships end will GREATLY provide you insight as to the areas of focus that needs to shift and also have boundaries around them so you do not keep repeating your past!

I am going to write a continuation of this article for next week, where I will outline some of types of behaviors others exhibit that should be red flags for us, the challenges of being in relationships and some of the healthy boundaries to set when starting a new relationship (as we have a tendency to rush into things!!!)  I will also share with you the difficulties and benefits of being in a relationship with another Empath (which, although it has its EXTREME difficulties, has been the most rewarding and self revolutionizing relationship for both myself and my life partner who are both Empaths.)

Sensitivity

What to Expect While You’re Accepting

In a  weekly feature, Dana of  Empath Rising will be sharing her views as well as practical tips on understanding and managing your sensitivity as an Empath.

When you come into awareness that you are a so called ‘Sensitive’ there will be some phases you will go through. It’s sort of like grieving the loss of someone and celebrating the birth of a new baby all in one cluster-F experience.  It’s confusing and emotional and empowering, depressing, exciting, frustrating and truly liberating.

I thought I would break it down into a “what to expect while you are accepting” description of sorts:

Stage 1: Shock

First, you will go through this stage of shock where you are like, “WTF? How did I not come across any of this information that is flooding my brain prior to now!!??”  It’s twisted because you are happy, but also, you are just dumbfounded that for so long you never once realized that there are actually a TON of human beings out there experiencing the same “awakening” as you are and coming to an understanding with – and of – themselves.

Stage 2: Self-Discovery

You begin the process of passionately pursuing yourself.  You really focus on mass researching anything that sparks your curiosity and your entire world seems to be bringing into your awareness this sense of clarity – it’s like epiphany after epiphany.  This is a wonderful phase where actually, you are being validated – that what you’ve always felt inside, actually does exist AND provides you with this incredible sense of identity.  You begin to really feel comfortable with who you are, a sense of relief comes over you that, well, that you are actually human!

Stage 3: Resentment

This is a tough phase to go through.  This is the phase where you begin to fight with your own self doubt.  The more research you begin to do, the more you begin to question if what you are learning about yourself, about society, about spirituality and consciousness is really “true” or you are just totally off your rocker. You know deep down you want to believe in all of this magical, deeply philosophical stuff, this hopelessly romantic, ‘life is beautiful’ thinking – but at the same time you experience extreme self-doubt because, all of this seems too beyond what you are taught in black and white terms.  This phase can lead to a lot of resentment – towards yourself or towards others.  I remember for myself, I was so pissed off at my parents for not having recognized that what I REALLY was: a super Sensitive child – all the while I was labeled the “temper tantrum child that couldn’t sit still, never listened and just wanted to be with animals” – with extreme connectedness to all creatures of Earth and human beings made me feel unsafe (while animals were comforting).  It’s important to go through these fits of anger because you really can tap into traumatic memories that will allow you to bring them to the surface for release – which brings self awareness and inner peace.

lake-animals-dogs-pets

All we really wanna do is hang out with animals.

Stage 4: Depression

The more you dig into your own life history and bring to the surface all these memories that you’re processing all over again – the more depressed you may find yourself.  It’s very, very hard to go through so much processing of emotional memories so quickly; it’s often painful and confusing, even re-traumatizing, all at once. I said this was a phase of depression – but really it is a stage of grand self evaluation, a complete analysis of all the pieces you have torn apart within yourself.  It can feel like a depressive state of being because you are facing LOTS of truth – however, what you are actually doing is residing in the state I call my “Nothingness.”  In this state, that to others appears as a depression, a numbing of sorts, is really a heightened sense of clarity where the mind is still and the Highest Self is stepping forward.  When in the “Nothingness” – you actually get to CHOOSE.  You choose everything and you understand you have TOTAL control of your Self.  It’s a blissful state of creation, no end and no beginning within yourself.  It’s a place where you are allowed to let go of the pieces that no longer serve you, while taking with you the lessons that empower you.  It’s this place where all of the knowledge you acquired from living becomes WISDOM – and guides you forward from here on out.  Yes, personally, I love the Nothingness and I usually hit this phase of my life every few months.  It’s a regenerative state, a Phoenix Cycle of sorts, where out of the darkness of your own ashes, you are reborn, stronger and wiser than before. Embrace your Nothingness!

Stage 5: Healing

You have brought forth and faced all of your own inner demons and are at a heightened sense of Self Awareness.  Your traumas become significantly easier to discuss and you feel a certain sense of freedom and empowerment from speaking them out loud – like they have no control over you anymore because they seem almost irrelevant to who you are becoming (they were left in the nothingness).  At this point you are aligned with your Highest Self and are really focused on listening to what it has to say, where it wants to guide you.  You come to understand just how grateful you are towards your body – mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually – for having endured all it did up until this point for you realize, had you not gone through everything, doing things exactly the way you did, you would not be who you are in this moment.  You begin to release all of the hurts in your Soul and you feel lighter and all you can focus on is aiding and serving the betterment of Humanity.  At this stage you feel such a sense of inner peace, a harmony within yourself, a smile that shines from within – you can feel almost as if your awareness, your Highest Self is in control and it is one Balanced, Calm Assertive Empathic Badass!  At this point, you begin to appreciate your SELF.

Stage 6: Self-Acceptance

You and your Highest Self are now besties and are in Passionate Pursuit of everything that resides within your Soul Purpose.  You are focused on Discovering your strength – many of which you realized you always had but never valued.  Many of these are all the aspects of your character you felt were weak, like empathy, compassion, forgiveness, kindness, love – you realize your super power is your vulnerability.  No longer do you seek societal validation as your Self Respect is all that you need.  You seek approval from nothing outside your self and you are steadfast on your path of understanding who you are, who you’re truly meant to be and why you are here.  You begin living only for YOU and with that you feel more connected with this Earth and all its creatures than ever before.  This is the phase where you realize just how much you undervalued your own worth and how that will never happen again.  This is the phase where you look at yourself in the mirror – focus on every aspect that you once saw as flawed, smile and say, “I am PROUD OF ALL OF ME!!!”

And after his phase of Self Acceptance, you become a Sacred Fool, who relies only on the Leap of Faith to trust that Inner Self, and that is when you become one of the most Powerful beings on this Earth.

Sensitivity

Overwhelmed and Overstimulated? HSP Level 10 First-Aid Kit

In a  weekly feature, Dana of  Empath Rising will be sharing her views as well as practical tips on understanding and managing your sensitivity as an Empath.

Emotional energies on Earth are high and intense right now – so I want to discuss what I call HSP Level 10. What happens to a lot of Sensitives is that when Emotional Energies are HIGH that means most normal human beings are struggling with finding inner balance and the deeper meaning to their state of being.

The Universe is attempting to awaken humans by bringing their drama to the surface and asking them to face it head on so they can evolve. A lot of those who never understood what your so-called Sensitive way of existing was like are experiencing it first hand right now. Remember what it was like when you didn’t know wtf you were? How crazy and lonely and depressing life got – combined with floods of mass anxiety and hyper-vigilance ruling your life? That’s what they are getting slammed with.

So. Be patient if you see others struggling right now. And even more important – be more patient with yourself as you experience the aftermath of this energetic emittance of internal chaos of others. I’m REALLY advocating for Sensitive Self Awareness right now and making an effort to put together proactive strategies for those times you are feeling completely off your rocker and all alarms are going off and you’re really just about to lose your shit and slide back to the state of being when YOU had no idea and no control over what you were feeling inside.

Here’s a few simple strategies you can have in place or at least consider when you are feeling overwhelmed and overstimulated.  Sometimes just knowing you know what to do is all you need.  Being prepared means having confidence in your abilities to handle a situation of overwhelm; it’s reassuring to say the least.  I no longer get anxiety about how to handle it the next time anxiety hits!

kerrie ig-4

  • Spend as much time as possible in a QUIET and CALMING setting. Nature is best – but I understand that it’s not always possible.  However, taking a short break from life for a second and stepping outside to really focus on looking at the trees, the grass, breathing in the air, listening to the rain or the birds, feeling the sun, the heat, the breeze… This all counts as being in nature! Sometimes I go outside and just take a few deep breaths of crisp new air and then go back to whatever I was doing.
  • Squat it out! I know, that’s work! But it’s good work!  Squatting requires the brain to work and focus and it creates a physical tension that will draw the attention from hyper-stimulation to focused stimulation.  And believe it or not – the brain will re-associate the inner chaos as energetic “gains” because squatting pumps endorphins and the brain likes endorphins! Plus you’ll feel better after you surge some of that energy out (and the tush will feel good too!)
  • Overstimulate your senses. Really? I know.  But I mean – PUT THEM TO WORK!  Most of the time when we are hypersensitive we are taking IN a lot of information but not doing anything with it, except over processing it, creating a build-up, which makes us want to twitch! So give your senses an OUTlet for this energy!  Spearmint gum has a wonderfully quick, mostly sedating effect on me.  It keeps my mouth and my nose working.  There are research studies on this, that chewing gum helps humans to focus.  So go ahead, look it up!  I literally don’t ever not chew gum – it just works.  Weighted heating pads also are wonderful on the lap or around the shoulder.  Hugs are the best because it’s full body contact. Music is wonderful to listen to (ones without words so you don’t feel the emotional energetic state of the singer) and I like to keep a hair tie on me so that I can twiddle it in my fingers that releases some tension also.
  • Self Compassion is a must. I like to literally talk to myself as if I am communicating to a lost and lonely child from another country that can’t understand my language. I’m SUPER PATIENT with myself and overly compassionate.  I am gentle on my entire being – I move slower than normal, I refrain from speaking out loud if I can, I pull myself out of as much human contact as possible and I constantly walk myself through telling myself I am safe, I am happy, I am sensitive and that’s ok. I don’t over commit myself for a few days and I essentially prepare for and treat myself for a few days of how someone would treat their self if they were recovering from an injury. I take it EASY!
  • Feel it all – then let it go.  Affirmations are a really great way to release stress and emotional blockages in your being physically, mentally and emotionally. Sensitive Self Talk is healing and what’s better than being your own 24/7 therapist, spirit guide and life coach? I could go into details about affirmations but they really need to be personalized. For myself, I use two affirmations the most often. The first is in times of hypersensitivity and I’m on HSP Level 10. I speak to myself and remind myself I am aware of my being as a Sensitive and promise to take proactive steps to remain calm and balanced and focused.  I remind myself I am not in actual physical or emotional danger and there is no need to be tense.  I literally walk myself through releasing tension in my eyes, my jaw, my shoulder, etc.  The other is that each night I grant my body and mind permission to release any energies, pains, memories, emotional or spiritual hurts that are not serving my greater purpose and self evolution. I forgive myself for my potential set backs and I promise myself to work hard tomorrow to remain on my path of purpose and stay focused only on balance and peace and (insert whatever intention you want to set for yourself).  Please look up affirmations, there are tons on Pinterest that should give you a good idea of what they are and how to create your own.
Remember – you are never going to wake up a hardened being and if you did, that would DEFINITELY be a set back to your sensitive self discovery and sensitive self evolution.  The point is not to harden yourself but to learn how to balance your sensitive self within a seemingly harsh world of energetic chaos. Keep moving forward, focus, never settle, trust your struggles and embrace your Self entirely.  This is how you become Self Aware and Self Empowered.  And that is how you become a Highly Evolved Sensitive.
Sensitivity

Am I an HSP or Empath…Or both?

So many Sensitives on their self-discovery journey struggle the most trying to understand whether they are HSP or Empath or both.  There is a lot of information available on these topics, most repetitive and all of which is opinion.

I am taking extra effort to emphasize this because although there is “enough” information available for you to gain some sense of who (and what) you are – Sensitives fall into the study area of parapsychology, more specifically Psychic Phenomena. It is an area where most research funding is not granted because the concept, like much of human behavior, is acataleptic (i.e. incomprehensible by the human conscious brain, where the more you begin to understand the less you realize is known… like space).

So again, my point here is this – you MUST do your own self research because as a Sensitive, scientists have realized the more they study Sensitives and Psychic Phenomena, the more they realize the “magical multidimensional out of the box thinking” needs to be considered if there is a shred of hope to comprehend us as human beings.  Most of what is published and available is written by sensitives that are writing about what they know and what they have discovered for themselves.

This means there is a lot more rediscovering and advancement in discoveries to take place and well, there is never going to be a black and white comprehension of our kind.  So make sure that whatever you are reading – you do not take as absolute truth unless it applies and resonates with YOU. With that, I am going to provide an explanation of HSP vs Empath of which most do not publicize and the concept has yet to be described in this way.  Believe it, don’t believe it – whatever makes sense to you, that’s ok with me!  This is just my understanding and my belief from my perspective.  Here it is:

HSP – Beginning of the journey of self-discovery

An awakening Sensitive who has come to the acceptance they are a Sensitive being, they have begun their self discovery to connect and align fully with their highest and truest self.  During this process the Sensitive begins to shed the ways of old paradigm societal validation/acceptance/ conformity thinking and is shifting to a new paradigm self validation, self acceptance and non-conforming way of intuiting.  They are in the process of embracing their own inner guidance, trusting their clear knowing or clear senses and are beginning to really tap into their Clair Senses (considered to be psychic abilities.)

Reconciling sensitive self with controlling brain or ego

At this phase, the Sensitive is still primarily functioning under the Controlling Brain which generates egocentric/mental energy (this type of thinking creates synapses, which are like little messages within the brain, that acts as a surge for the body/behavior to respond accordingly), which Sensitives are HYPERSENSITIVE to and they create imbalance within themself as they create and emit it.  As the HSP learns to embrace and accept their Sensitive being and finds ways to balance and harmonize their inner self, they begin to align with their Highest Self.  This alignment forces the Controlling Brain into a state of submission and allows for the Highest Self to step forward.

Connecting with Highest Self

During this phase of awakening as a Sensitive, the inner Empath begins to really present itself.  The once socially awkward, anxious and irritable HSP subsides and this tranquil, “peace, love and harmony,” and one with all demeanor takes over as the mentality.  Though Empaths are still offset by energetic vibrations of the external world, when the controlling brain is in submission, the Intuition runs the decision making for the Empath.  Intuition generates a “zero energy” synapse called a psychon of which surges messages within the brain that directs the body/behavior – and this energy is completely balanced, thus non disruptive to the INNER balance of the Empath being.  At this phase, the HSP is completely connected to its Highest Self, its Inner Empath.

Once you have transcended into the Rising Inner Empath, this does not mean you will maintain your inner peace forever.  This means that you are connected with your Highest and Truest Self and are back on your path of purpose, led by your inner most passions and validated by your own inner self knowing.  This state takes an incredible amount of self awareness to ensure you do not backslide into the HSP state and provide an opportunity for the Controlling Brain to reassert itself.  At the state where the Empath has risen, if a Sensitive is feeling irritated again or offset easily, this means the Controlling Brain is getting feisty and trying to take over again and you are disconnecting and out of alignment with your inner Empath and Highest Self.

When you are in alignment with your Highest Self, your inner Empath serves as a healing being.  No longer do you feel afraid and annoyed and irritated by others but instead, your level of compassion is insurmountable and you become extraordinarily service oriented.  Your focus is on elevating the state of Humanity on Earth and you feel ever so connected to every other being on this planet.

Most readings suggest you are either born an Empath or you aren’t.  I agree to this on some level but I need to explain that you are “born” anytime throughout you life that you AWAKEN to a new way of thinking.  If you are an HSP know that if you continue to self discover and with undying passion explore yourself, you will find your inner Empath and allow it to rise within you connecting you to your Highest Self and you will one day wake up feeling balanced, safe and at peace within yourself and every one and everything around you.

Sensitivity

There is Freedom in Boundaries

In a new weekly feature, Dana of  Empathic Translation will be sharing her views as well as practical tips on understanding and managing your sensitivity as an Empath.

Ok, so you have discovered you are a “Sensitive” – likely identifying yourself as an HSP or an Empath.  What are you going to do now?

You are going to set some (very detailed) boundaries!  I’m not talking about limiting yourself as a human being, I am talking about BOUNDARIES.  This means drawing very clear lines which others ARE. NOT. TO. CROSS.  And if they do – you have very clear cut, proactive strategies in place to keep yourself balanced.

Here’s the thing about those who are “Normal” (aka not the beautifully complex human beings that we are); they are NEEDY mother f-ers.  And listen, I LOVE human beings, they are my favorite creature on this planet – but the truth hurts.  And the truth about most human beings are that, they just don’t get it.  Now, my hope is that at some point in your own self-discovery, you will understand the depths of what “it” is.  Once you do, it gets easier to maintain balance within yourself as you remain completely detached from emotions and vibrational chaos that is not yours to feel responsible for.

Speaking of responsibility – YOU are your own responsibility.  Once you understand this, boundaries are fairly easy to develop and to live by.  Others laugh at me when I send them my “Boundaries Bible” because it is so detailed that it almost makes it seems like interacting with other humans is dangerous.  Well, as an HSP/Empath, IT IS!  This is why most of us are hot wired to run or to defend ourselves all the time – because we understand the inner fury of others and perceive even the slightest of angst within others as assaultive to our state of being.  That is a fair reason to feel hyper-sensitive and fearful of your environment.

Basic psychology states that we only FEAR what we do not understand – and admittedly as an HSP or an Empath, we do not always understand the rationale behind what we are feeling, we just know it’s there.  This would make anyone “insane.”  Einstein says that “Insanity is doing the same thing the same way and expecting a different result.” – so put those together and BOOM, boundaries will keep you SANE!  (Did we all just have an Epiphany? An “a-hah” moment? No? Not yet? Ok, I’ll elaborate).

Boundaries are:

1)      A definite place where YOUR responsibility for another person ends and their responsibility for themselves begins.  A line clearly established where you stop doing things for others that they should be doing for themselves.

2)      An agreement with yourself that stops you from feeling obligated to rescue someone from the consequences of their own destructive behaviors (which they need to experience to evolve themselves) and stops you from feeling guilty for the consequences someone experiences for the actions they’re taking.

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Sensitivity

5 Essentials of Empath Sanity

Rum The cure for pain is in the pain

In a new weekly feature, Dana of  Empathic Translation will be sharing her views as well as practical tips on understanding and managing your sensitivity as an Empath.

Most of you here have come to the understanding that you are “Sensitive” and that is awesome!  Well, awesome that you are discovering you are “Sensitive” – not all of you are probably thrilled about it.  Regardless, I think it’s important to point out that realizing you are a sensitive soul is just the first part of the self-discovery journey.  The next part is understanding that there are varying degrees of sensitivity!  (Even more awesome, right!?!?). In other words, there are levels to this sensitivity stuff.

 

I have been blessed with – well, let’s just say, the highest level of sensitivity a human being could possibly come equipped to handle without breaking. On my journey, I’ve had no choice but to come to an understanding and total acceptance of not just who – but WHAT – I am.  In doing so, much of my craziness became my sanity and much of my delusional thoughts became reality.  Sounds ass backwards, right?  Nope. I was just born with an inability to see straight from a one sided perspective – forcing me to find more creative ways to view the world.  (Ironically, I am also dyslexic!)

 

What did I discover when I relocated to a 360• perspective?  I FOUND MY HIGHEST SELF! AND WE ARE TOTALLY BESTIES NOW!

I was able to fully discover myself; who knew that I thrive in chaos, and my issue wasn’t that I was chaotic, but that the “normal” view of day to day life just wasn’t a place where I belonged?!  Here’s a few tidbits I would highly suggest to all awakening Empaths on their journey to connect with their Highest Self as they learn to live their life according to their own innate purpose; embracing their inner struggles, discovering their inner gifts, learning to trust their inner knowing and fully embracing their highest and truest self.

 

As an Empath, this is the only way to find peace and balance within yourself and within a chaotic world filled with equally chaotic beings (whom you are designed to feel!).

 

Maintaining your Empath Sanity:

  • Check out your personality type.  There are 16 personalities of which most Empaths fall into the “rarest” of them.  You can take a free test at 16personalities.com and after a 5-10 minute questionnaire, you will be provided an elaborate report as to how your mind likes to process information, how you gain and are drained of your inner energy, what triggers you into imbalance, areas to focus for self management, your ideal self image, your common stressors (environments, careers, interpersonal dynamics), and how you make decisions and take action (or why you don’t).  This helps you understand your HUMAN (your brain).
  • Check out your natal birth chart.  You can get. Free chart at cafeastrology.com under natal birth charts.  This will provide for you an elaborate report on the energetic composition of your essence (soul).  This will give you great insige into your “spiritual self.”  Sidenote: I’m not saying you have to go believe in astrology or horoscopes (I don’t follow either cause I refuse to be told what to do or who I am ) or that you have to believe every piece of your personality type to be 110% applicable – what I’m saying is, DO SOME SELF RESEARCH!!!! Use these as a starting point on your self discovery!
  • Embrace your struggles. I mean REALLY go at it hard.  Figure out everything that makes you go off your rocker, that you feel is “wrong” with you.  I once wrote out everything I disliked about myself and it was a crazy ass long list.  Then stare at all this information and figure out WHY.  Cry, get angry, sad, ashamed, feel guilty, whatever.  And then FORGIVE YOURSELF.  Go through each thing and forgive yourself for becoming a person you disliked, promise yourself you will take proactive steps going forward to understand your struggles and evolve from them instead of resenting yourself for having them, that you will live your life in accordance with your highest and truest self.  Invite that part of you to step forward and represent and welcome your self home.
  • Love yourself.  This means coming up with a list of boundaries for which you will not allow the world and those in it (including you!) to make you feel imbalanced at their disapproval of you.  This means being acutely aware of anyone or anything that makes you feel even minorly bad about yourself, the way you live your life, or throws you off balance as you go through your day – and then draw boundaries around that person/those things. This will energetically not allow them to come into contact with your balanced and fully connected highest self.  If Jane at work is always bitching to you about her personal drama – Jane gets a boundary where you shut her off “Jane, I cannot solve your problems because I’m working on my own so please refer them to someone who has time for your low vibing bullshit” (but maybe be a little nicer, Jane could be a nutbag.) Another example, if loud blasting music amps you up and makes you wired and jittery, STOP LISTENING TO IT!  Check your environments and make sure they are conducive to calm, assertive and self assured you.
  • Chill the fuck out.  Sounds easier than it is but it’s probably not as hard as you have been making it.  Once we have a better understanding of our self, have begun to work on ourself, have set boundaries so we can maintain our loving relationship with ourself, we realize that it wasn’t that we were actually whacked out of our minds but rather our mind was out of alignment with our highest self.  There is such a sense of relieve and calm, clarity that comes from connecting with our inner truth – we begin to realize the world can go on however energetically chaotic and the effect on us becomes less about US personally and more about it just being something we can feel.  You see, worry/anxiety/fear/depression all of that stems from a lack of knowledge, we are made uneasy by what we don’t understand.  As you begin to fully understand yourself, learn your self, know your self, become fully aware of your self… All that anxiety/fear stuff, it significantly reduces and often times goes away completely.
Moral of the story here.  The most essential part of self care for an Empath is self knowledge… KNOW. THY. SELF.
Happy self discovery friends!