(Or perhaps just simply feeling a lot as a very human being.)
Are you an HSP or an empath too?
Then I know how it feels. Sometimes down, sometimes overwhelmed; sometimes afraid of human contact, sometimes feeling isolated; sometimes still longing for more, authentic and true human contact – yet not sure if such true connection even exists. Yet also knowing, deep down, that you have SO MUCH to offer, so much to say; you know so much, you’re aware of the undercurrents; the mystical, the magical, the wonder and beauty, the pure aching beauty of the Universe. And these are just a drop in the ocean of what you can put a finger on, what you can describe. There are whole worlds inside of you.
(There are whole worlds inside all of us.)
As an empath, I feel very deeply. Sometimes, to the extent where I can get swept away by emotions – mine and others’. And although this often allows access into my creativity, many times, I also felt mired and stuck. In fact, I used to feel that way so often, I thought that was what life was supposed to feel like.
And at a certain point – to be precise, around April of last year – I was sick of it. I was sick of feeling mired and stuck. I was sick of feeling as though life was just something to tolerate through clenched teeth. That was when I said: Enough. I want to know why I’m struggling with my emotions so much. I want to know a way beyond using my intellect to repress them, using my will to keep my emotions down. I spent SO MUCH energy trying to control my emotions, I barely had room in my heart for anything else. I was just focused on keeping afloat.
But something in me told me: There must be more. There HAS to be more to life.
So I did a lot of digging. (Digging = research, therapy, meditation, sitting with myself. Basically sitting down and looking at myself and saying Hi. Hello. You there. I see you. I’m sitting with you.)
And at the end of it all, I’ve traced these emotions to the root: and there lay a sense of victimhood. That was what had been keeping me mired and stuck, in a kind of learned helplessness. So I’ve begun the work to let go of that.
To walk away from feeling like the world is coming AT you with stimulation and noise, and to embrace it all as the cacophonous beauty of the Universe.
I decided that I wanted to feel strong, grounded and rooted in my personal power.
It’s been a whole year since, and it’s been so crazy, I can’t even start to describe everything that has transpired since then.
Where are you on your HSP/empath journey? Are you still trying to grapple with yourself? Are you swimming? Treading water? Just keeping afloat? Or already strong and empowered and disciplined and keeping on your path every day?
I just want to say: I feel you. I see you. You have so much to offer. You can do this. We are here, we are in this together.