Useful tips from ladies you might have heard of, such as Beyonce and Tyra Banks:
“If your goals aren’t synced with the substance of your heart, then achieving them won’t matter much.” – Danielle LaPorte
This is a surprisingly hilarious and in-depth site where Bodhipaksa takes it upon himself to debunk popular quotes that have been falsely attributed to the Buddha, for example:
“The Buddhists say if you meet somebody and your heart pounds, your hands shake, your knees go weak, that’s not the one. When you meet your ‘soul mate’ you’ll feel calm. No anxiety, no agitation.”
Obviously this is not described as a quote from the Buddha, who was not noted for being a fount of dating advice
I’d only recently discovered her wonderful advice columns, and I’ve found some wisdom in almost every post. This one in particular resonated in the past week:
How many women wrote beautiful novels and stories and poems and essays and plays and scripts and songs in spite of all the crap they endured. How many of them didn’t collapse in a heap of “I could have been better than this” and instead went right ahead and became better than anyone would have predicted or allowed them to be. The unifying theme is resilience and faith. The unifying theme is being a warrior and a motherfucker. It is not fragility. It’s strength. It’s nerve. And “if your Nerve, deny you –,” as Emily Dickinson wrote, “go above your Nerve.” Writing is hard for every last one of us—straight white men included. Coal mining is harder. Do you think miners stand around all day talking about how hard it is to mine for coal? They do not. They simply dig.
So write… Not like a girl. Not like a boy. Write like a motherfucker.
I like this alternate viewpoint – perhaps wholeness isn’t shunning all that is ‘dark’ and ‘wrong’, but having the courage to truly know your darkness, confront it, embrace, and come out the other side, fully integrated and strong.
It’s ironic though, that since I decided to accept my darkness, my moods have improved considerably. Like it was the constant pressure to “be the light,” the constant cultural shaming of the dark, that was half the issue. The dark is immensely powerful, and yet we are afraid of it.