Hi there. Have you just come off the high of a cycle? Or are you just emerging from the burnout of overstimulation? I feel you. Many times, I thought I had figured it out and – finally! – found the secret formula to managing my highs and lows. And sure, certain techniques have helped to alleviate a lot of what I thought to be some of the pain points of my temperament. But it doesn’t change the fact that our temperaments are here to stay.
So what’s the one secret that keeps me sane, and is the one thing that helps me ride the cycles better each time?
When in doubt, fear, frustration, fatigue, stress – simply bring the mind’s attention down. Just a couple of inches down…. A very short distance. To the center of your chest. Yes – to your heart.
- As HSS/HSPs, especially when untrained, we tend to live life reacting to the impulses fired off by our sensitive nervous systems. We end up living in our heads. We either want more, a lot more – or we retreat, and want to stay there forever – that is, until our next impulse strikes again. When we live like that, we are often led by conflicting directives, often sparked off in reaction to the things we see, hear, feel, sense, absorb. We can feel ungrounded, core-less, wobbly.
- These overstimulation/under-stimulation cycles may also serve to destabilize our trust in ourselves. If we can’t trust our thoughts and ideas – the products of our mind – then what can we trust? How do we move forward? We second guess ourselves, and may find ourselves stuck, mired, and in a limbo.
- Applying energy techniques is good. Setting boundaries is great, and a must. But what underpins all of this? Why put in all the work? There must be something that guides and steers it all.
You are meant to live, and create, from the Heart
“Live from the heart” could sound like a platitude. Because what does that really mean? In a heart-centered way of life, it means that you can allow certain urges that overstimulate you to pass, and to uplift yourself from the troughs more easily. Living this way means you maintain focus on your goals – your heart goals. Those core goals that mean the most to you, that make you feel whole (and not just what you think looks good from the outside), that gives your life meaning. They become the basis on which you compare your impulses against – are they in alignment with your heart’s goals, or no? And decide which ones to act on from there.
It also means that you don’t have to be so vigilant about maintaining ‘energy shields’ – which I find really exhausting and unsustainable, because being grounded within yourself means you are naturally protected without having to worry about it. Self-care becomes a non-negotiable act of self-love, to become a safe space for you to return to no matter where your urges bring you.
Some heart-activating activities:
- Meditation – I see this as a non-negotiable for any sensitive person serious about wanting to lead a healthy life, psychically, psychologically and physically.
- Being in nature – toes in sand, bare feet on grass, hugging a tree.
- Movement – yoga, dance, anything that allows you to feel good in your body
- Healing core wounds – recurring patterns and conflicts in relationships give you clues as to what needs to be healed.
It took me a while to really get in touch with what my heart wanted – no, needed, after years of ignoring its messages to me. It was sometimes really scary, sometimes isolating – especially when I chose to act on those that seemed to go against my earlier choices. It is always easier to follow the script that your mind had set out for you, or the expectations of those around you, than to listen to the gentle nudgings of your heart, at first. So if you’re only beginning this journey, take it slow. Keep choosing what feels good to you and your body, and it will get easier over time.