First up – you are already whole. As you are. No matter what you think needs to be done, or changed, or healed, or transformed… Stop. Sit. Revel in your presence, right at this very moment. Wholeness is your true essence, your authentic self. It’s in need of no fixing, no repair.
Say this truth to yourself, hand over heart, as many times as you need:
I. Am. Whole.
Feeling whole, on the other hand, is being able to access this truth in your daily consciousness.
It is about first touching this truth within, then embodying it, and letting it pour out through every thought, word and action.
It’s a constant journey of working through all the untruths we’ve told ourselves or picked up from the environment. Things that we’ve learned and the defense mechanisms we developed during childhood.
Feeling whole comes in the moments when situations, events and people you encounter shine a mirror on any sticky spot in your psyche where you have bought into your own stories of lack – and you realize that these events no longer trigger you as profoundly, no longer shake you to your very core.
Wholeness is when you feel what you feel, without apologies. There is no more guilt about feeling what you feel, first. ‘Shoulds’ no longer dominate your reality – you are no longer defaulting to ‘Others First (And Always)’ policy. ‘But I shouldn’t feel this way/think this/do that…’ ‘I should…’
You taste your essential wholeness when you are no longer spinning around, lost in the depths of your emotions, or depleted, lost in the energy soup of your environment. Instead, you sense the energies of both – the rise and fall of your emotions within – as well as the tensions of the world around you – without losing yourself in either. You are connected to Source yet grounded on Earth.
Wholeness is when you realize you don’t need any external force to bring you that feeling of safety, security and completion.
Yes, sometimes, it IS a lot of work. Inner work. It requires a lot of digging, sifting, focus and discipline.
But touching that wholeness? It’s a kind of sweetness that you can finally curl your body around, and rest.
Wholeness isn’t a fortress that you build around yourself. It’s not a place that you reach and get to stay forever.
It’s a matter of reaching within over and over again, finding that spot when you lose your place in a book, returning to the yoga mat after a week or a month away. Because sometimes you may lose yourself for a day, a week, a month – and you will lose yourself at some point, and often – but Wholeness is the promise of return. It’s the vow to always return to yourself.
Wholeness is feeling safe and loved and enough in your own skin, while feeling free enough to interact with the outside world as and when you need to.
Wholeness is who you are. You are just getting closer and closer to this truth as you grow and experience, change and transform, shed old ways and embody the new.
You are whole. You just rediscover it in new ways, every day.